Jade Sun

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About: "We're not lazy, we just like to sleep." -Mom

Lies I Tell Myself…

What I tell myself when I realize I’m not doing things that I thought I would be/should be doing….

I’ll paint more when I have the right space to store my supplies.

I’ll read more when I have more time.

I’ll be a more diligent student next semester.

I’ll cook more when I get that cool new recipe book, Home Made by Yvette Van Boven.

I’ll write more songs when I have a better grasp on how to make music.

I’ll be better at finances once I’m thirty and have a better paying job.

and MAYBE I’ll work out and start eating healthy next week.

sounds great, but truthfully

——-I live in a world of delusions.

I’ve been naive to think that those statements were true at one point, when in fact, they never were. I created this false reality of my super-awesome someday where I spend every second of my day more productively.

I call it foolishness.

A realization:

I know this for certain…

If I don’t start doing those things now, I will never do them.

And without discipline it will not last.

—-Deceiving ourselves is effortless.

We constantly need to be reminded of truth.

oh gosh. look at this little guy!

epithalamium:

blackphotos:

no clue what this is. but it is the greatest thing ever.

Noelle Vong.

(Source: seolleim)

the In-Between

How we define ourselves is really important.

I say this because I think the way we view ourselves will leave its trace on everything we do. It can either be the hindrance or the encouragement that characterizes how we create or how we love.

Yes, I think how we define ourselves is really important.

—-I started reading this book called Becoming American, it’s compiled of several true life stories by first generation immigrant women. I’m thirty pages in and captivated by every word. They share about the struggles, triumphs and utter confusion they’ve endured in the process of transitioning from their home country to this strange place called America.

I may be fourth generation, but the accounts I have read by these women resonate with me. I think it’s because at the heart of their distress, uncertainty and joy is a constant struggle between how they see themselves and how the world sees them. I think the editor of the book, Meri Nana-Ama Danquah, portrays this concept well when she shares the thoughts that fill her mind when friends or family have said she was ‘becoming so American’,

“The process of becoming felt like a betrayal of what I was, and, ultimately, of who I was. After all, in order to move toward something one must move away from something else. Even though I had already left Ghana, I didn’t want Ghana to leave me. I didn’t want to exist in the in-between.”

“What does it mean to become an American? This was the question I found myself asking throughout my youth and well into my adulthood. It sparked an internal debate, a seemingly endles search for self that was fueled by pride and shame, determination and denial. It’s a question that I found difficult to answer, yet impossible to abandon. It is a question that at first, generates more questions than answer…”

Meri understands me. I felt like we were in my living room talking about the difficulties of living in the ‘in-between’. Pride, shame, determination, denial…in my endeavor to understand who I am in the midst of my race, my culture, my history and my faith —-I’ve felt it all. When I read her words, I thought to myself, we are the same, although we were different, generations and cultures apart, we are the same.

“The rest He offers is the rest of meekness, the blessed relief which comes when we accept ourselves for what we are and cease to pretend. It will take some courage at first, but the needed grace will come as we learn that we are sharing this new and easy yoke with the strong Son of God Himself. He calls it `my yoke,’ and He walks at one end while we walk at the other.” —A.W. Tozer (The Pursuit of God)

(Source: riversnroads, via csleeper)

“Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You are here to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.” — Louise Erdrich, The Painted Drum

Simple Living

I’m at a point in my life where ordinary, everyday things bring me a lot of joy.

EXAMPLE: Going to the grocery store.